Viva la Revolution!

Shewt, sheriff, I wuz only funnin’

For this week’s redneck jackassery we turn to South Carolina, home of GOP activist and right-wing racist Rusty DePass:

Well, the election of the first black president in American history certainly has brought out the best in people.  At least now we can identify the ignorant, racist morons who used to wear the white sheets.

“Clearly in jest”?  No, Rusty, it was clearly racist and stupid.  And so are you.  You and all others like you deserve to be tossed in the dustbin of history.

He should have the balls to go out in public and offer a real apology, not just the weasel-worded “if anyone was offended” garbage that’s become the political standard these days.

This is what Revolution looks like

Iranians in Revolt

Who saw this coming?  In 1979 when the Ayatollahs took over Iran’s government by occupying the American embassy and holding our people hostage for 444 days, they ushered in an “Islamic Revolution”.  For those of us who were alive to witness that pivotal moment, the thought that the same crowd that started their government with violence, terrorism and hostage-taking may see it end with themselves in the same position is both satisfying and a bit ironic.

The people who once incited crowds to shout “Death to America” now hear the same phrase ending in their own names.  History is not without a sense of irony.

Over the weekend, the Ayatollah Khamenei said that the election was “ordained by God”.  Today in light of highly likely charges of vote fraud and election rigging, the spiritual leader of the Islamic Republic appears to have changed his mind.  An investigation has been ordered by Khamenei.

Is this really how Ahmadinejad thinks democracy works?  Rigging elections and suppressing dissent?  He’s got a lot to learn about reality.  The younger generation of Iran is fed up with him and the Ayatollahs’ tyranny.  It’s time the leaders of the so-called Revolution stepped aside.  REAL revolution is sweeping across Iran, whether they like it or not.

Change is coming.  They can get on the train or get run over.

In the Kingdom of the Blind

It must be hard being Shepard Smith these days.  He seems to be the only reasonable one left at Faux News.  Yesterday he called out the deranged meth-addict fringe of the right wing in this country, reading what was probably one of the less psychotic e-mail rantings he received that day:

I wonder, though, if he’ll have the courage to call out his Faux News colleagues for fanning the flames of this hatred and fear?  Somehow, I doubt it.  The economy is still in the shitter and I’ll bet it’s hard for former Faux News anchors to find jobs these days.  Being associated with that network kind of kills your credibility with legitimate news networks.

But still, it’s nice to see that the Kingdom of the Blind has at least one man who can see the truth.

Send Hannity a Pussy

Hey, kids!  Let’s have some fun with right-wing jackass and Faux Noise stuffed suit Sean Hannity!  It’s been nearly two months since he said he’d volunteer to be waterboarded “for charity”.  He still hasn’t done it, despite the fact that his colleague and friend Erich “Mancow” Muller did, and decided from his experience that it is, in fact, torture.

I’m not entirely sure why Hannity hasn’t done it yet, but I have a theory.  You see, like every other right-wing asshat who defends the so-called “enhanced interrogation methods” employed by Dick “Torquemada” Cheney, Hannity is a pussy.

He’s a yellow-bellied, lily-livered, asslicking, lying buffoon.

And next week will be the two-month anniversary of his pussyhood.  Let’s all have some fun and send him a pussy to help him celebrate it!  Here’s a picture of a nice, wet one that I’m sure he’ll appreciate:

See, it’s even got a yellow background, just like Sean himself!  Just download it, copy it, or whatever, and send it with your comments to hannity@foxnews.com.  Or send one of your own pictures if you prefer.  Please, no pornography though, tempting as it may be.  I don’t want to give him any more talking points.  Keep it humourous.

It must be a recovery

It’s a recession when your neighbor loses his job.

It’s a depression when you lose yours.

So, when is it a recovery?  When a hedge fund manager loses his job.  Read on:

BOSTON — A pair of unrelated Boston-based hedge funds managing a total of more than $1.3 billion separately told investors Tuesday they’re shutting down and returning investor cash because of recent disappointing performance.

Letters from Raptor Capital Management and Noble Partners LP that were obtained by The Associated Press say both firms plan to revamp their investment strategies and eventually offer new funds.

Noble Partners’ George Noble told investors in his $550 billion Gyrfalcon QP and Offshore Funds that “my performance over the past several months of 2009 has been the most professionally disappointing and personally frustrating” of his nearly 30-year career.

“Whatever the reasons for our poor performance, the numbers speak for themselves and are simply unacceptable,” Noble said in a letter to investors about the funds’ 30 percent loss this year.

The closures were also confirmed to the AP by two people familiar with the situations. The persons spoke on condition of anonymity because they were not authorized to speak publicly on the matters. The Wall Street Journal first reported the closures online Tuesday afternoon.

James Pallotta, who heads the $800 billion Raptor Funds, told investors in a letter that his firm has returned an average of nearly 13.9 percent per year since the funds’ inception in October 1993 through the end of last month. That compares with a 6.5 percent return over that period for the Standard & Poor’s 500 index.

But the funds’ performance this year has been “roughly flat,” he said.

Pallotta became a minority owner of the Boston Celtics professional basketball team, and split several months ago with longtime hedge fund partner Paul Tudor Jones of Tudor Investment Corp.

BOSTON — A pair of unrelated Boston-based hedge funds managing a total of more than $1.3 billion separately told investors Tuesday they’re shutting down and returning investor cash because of recent disappointing performance.

Letters from Raptor Capital Management and Noble Partners LP that were obtained by The Associated Press say both firms plan to revamp their investment strategies and eventually offer new funds.

Noble Partners’ George Noble told investors in his $550 billion Gyrfalcon QP and Offshore Funds that “my performance over the past several months of 2009 has been the most professionally disappointing and personally frustrating” of his nearly 30-year career.

“Whatever the reasons for our poor performance, the numbers speak for themselves and are simply unacceptable,” Noble said in a letter to investors about the funds’ 30 percent loss this year.

The closures were also confirmed to the AP by two people familiar with the situations. The persons spoke on condition of anonymity because they were not authorized to speak publicly on the matters. The Wall Street Journal first reported the closures online Tuesday afternoon.

James Pallotta, who heads the $800 billion Raptor Funds, told investors in a letter that his firm has returned an average of nearly 13.9 percent per year since the funds’ inception in October 1993 through the end of last month. That compares with a 6.5 percent return over that period for the Standard & Poor’s 500 index.

But the funds’ performance this year has been “roughly flat,” he said.

Pallotta became a minority owner of the Boston Celtics professional basketball team, and split several months ago with longtime hedge fund partner Paul Tudor Jones of Tudor Investment Corp.

For those who aren’t aware, hedge funds are stock market investment firms that make their money by betting on the failure of other stocks.  Because of the way they make money, there’s a strong incentive for them to shape events behind the scenes by manipulating the news about stocks that they’re investing in.  They are also part of the reason the nation is, at the moment, economically up shit creek without a paddle.  The fewer of them we have, the better off we’ll be.

Lord of the Lies

One thing that’s been firmly established about Dick Cheney is that he’s a liar.  Another is a that he’s a coward.  He’s a lying coward who’s more than willing to sacrifice other men and women to serve his worthless causes, but lacks the courage to put his own sorry ass on the line for them.  So when this little nugget came up on Faux News’ “On the Record” with Greta Van Sycophant, I had to wonder if someone had accidentally slipped truth serum in his daily serving of human blood:

“On the question of whether or not Iraq was involved in 9-11, there was never any evidence to prove that,” he told the “On The Record” host in a joint interview with his daughter Liz. “There was “some reporting early on … but that was never borne out,” Cheney said.

This brief bout with, erm… reality?  Conscience?  Truth? … didn’t stop him from throwing his former puppet boss under the bus, however:

“George … did say and did testify that there was an ongoing relationship between al-Qaeda and Iraq, but no proof that Iraq was involved in 9-11.”

Interesting.  The Dark Lord of the Sith seems to be realizing that he won’t get away with it forever.  Next he’ll be telling us that KSM and others were waterboarded at Gitmo in order to create a false link between Iraq and Al-Qaeda.

As if we didn’t already know that.

No shit, Sherlock

The results of a scientific study are in, and they tell us pretty much what we already know: that New York City’s parasitic relationship with the upstate regions and Delaware County in particular is killing the host. Read on:

DELHI _ The results of a $250,000 study to determine the effects of New York City’s land-acquisition program were presented at the Delaware County Board of Supervisors meeting Wednesday.

The analysis predicts job losses and negative economic and tax consequences in Delaware County, and it offered recommendations for county action. At least one of those _ greater partnership with the city _ brought disagreement from two supervisors, while another supervisor said the study’s suggestions should be implemented.

Downeast Group Development Consulting prepared the study. Its president, Greg Brown, said the report analyzed the economic profile of Delaware County and the impact of NYC’s proposed $300 million land-acquisition program.

Delaware County commissioned the analysis to prepare for the State Environmental Quality Review of the land program. The proposed purchases could leave the city in control of up to 50 percent of watershed land.

Brown said the study found the economic effects, if the program were undertaken, include the loss of natural-resource-based industries, an impact on future growth potential and an artificial increase in land values.

Also, he said, local wage owners would be priced out of the land market, and there would a higher probability of NYC tax assessment challenges, a shift of the tax burden to other landowners and a shift in community character.

The report projects a potential loss of about 460 jobs in agriculture, forestry and bluestone mining.

Downeast’s report concludes with recommendations, including strengthening the partnership with NYC and developing a Smart Growth Comprehensive Development Plan for the county.

Of course, the most appalling thing about this is that it took a $250,000 study to tell us the obvious.  You can drive all over Delaware County and see the negative impacts the City’s insatiable and selfish thirst for water and hunger for land have produced.  Poverty, despair and misery follow wherever New York City goes.  

I hate the City.  It despise its arrogance, its greed and its overweening ambition.  New York City was ground zero for the worst terrorist attack in history, and it’s now ground zero for the worst financial meltdown in history.  It either attracts hate or causes misery.  New York would be best off seceding from the city and leaving it to fend for itself.  

If we can’t do that, we should at least increase property taxes on so-called “second homes” so we can begin to reclaim some of what is rightfully ours.  We should charge the city a use fee for every gallon of water that NYC gets from the Watershed counties as a result of its land-grabbing.  NYC has gotten away with this parasitism for far too long, and it’s time to pay up.  Maybe if upstate counties band together and stand against NYC, it’ll think again about building a filtration and desalination plant.

Or maybe it won’t.  NYC has a long and sordid history of bullying and whiny-ass me-first-ism.  It’s the biggest and whiniest baby on the planet.