Panderer’s Box

Posted: August 30, 2008 in america, john mccain, mccain, politics, republicans, sarah palin, Uncategorized, voting
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WTF is it with John McCain and former beauty queens?  He dumped his first wife, a former beauty queen, for wealthy and beautiful beer heriess, and now he picks a woman half his age to be his running mate.  The conservative world is all abuzz about McCain’s selection of first-term governor of Alaska Sarah Palin. She brings with her a wealth of executive experience to the ticket – less than two years as governor, and a couple of stints as mayor of Wasila, Alaska, a town of less than 7,000 people.  Well, it’s more command experience than McCain has.  His military career, after all, ended almost before it began. He’s never been in a position of leadership as a military officer, and never held elected office where he would be accountable to the decisions he made.

At 44, she’s younger even than Barack Obama, which kind of undercuts the whole “experience and judgement” argument McCain’s been trying to push for the past few weeks.  And she’s very attractive, possibly the hottest politician I’ve ever seen.  Is the old man checking out her ass while she’s talking?  He sure isn’t watching her teleprompter…

Of course, we all are familiar with McCain’s predeliction for younger women; current wife Cindy is, after all, 18 years his junior.  But surely there must be more to this selection than simply age, amateur-grade executive experience and hotness.  Does she bring any foreign policy credentials to the ticket?  Fox Comedy Network’s Steve Doocy has the answer:

Riiiiight.  And I live down the street from a hospital, so I suppose that makes me a radiologist.  Whatever, Douchy.

She’s conservative on nearly every issue, from guns to abortion.  A lifelong NRA member and apparently a decent shot, at least if she’s elected VP we can expect she probably won’t shoot an old man in the face during a canned hunt.

She supports teaching creationism in public schools, apparently because we shouldn’t “… be afraid of information. Healthy debate is so important, and it’s so valuable in our schools. I am a proponent of teaching both.”  Of course, creationism is not science, it’s religion, and if you want to teach it you should start a Sunday school class.

She supports drilling in ANWR, a popular idea unlikely to have any net positive effect on oil prices.  Actually, considering oil has been falling in price lately due to decreased demand, an increase in the overall supply will probably have the exact opposite effect desired.

A mother of five, one with Down’s Syndrome, she brings a huge “mom factor” to the ticket, in a blatant appeal to the disaffected Clintonites, PUMAs and other DINOs.

It’s pretty clear to me why McCain picked Palin.  On every issue, from experience to foreign policy to the “woman on the ticket” thing, he’s just pandering.  I just hope the country doesn’t fall for this Trojan Horse in November.

McCain isn’t getting any younger, and the presidency is a rough position to hold.  Even younger, healthier men have been aged considerably by it.  If something happens to a President McCain, can we really risk passing the mantle to this amateur?

I don’t think so.  It’s time to close Panderer’s Box and tell McCain it’s time to retire.

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Comments
  1. angelic1 says:

    nice post. a real analytical take on every point. they will not get hillary’s constituents — palin is too far to the right, and no one likes to be patronized which is clearly what they’re trying to do to women voters. i’m just sad that palin allowed herself, and her seemingly lovely family, to be pawns in mccain’s desperate game.

  2. cloaknbadger says:

    That is a puntastic title after my own heart. +1 point for you. 😀

  3. Afrit007 says:

    Angelic1, I agree. Sarah Palin has far too little experience politically to be dragged into the meatgrinder of national politics this way. It’s a really unkind thing McCain has done to her and her family. She may yet deserve a shot at the presidency, but now is not that time.

  4. Afrit007 says:

    Thanks, cloak! I’ve been holding that one back for a while.