Archive for the ‘fox news’ Category

On Saturday, January 7th, 2011, congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords (D-AZ) was shot in the head while making one of her regular appearances in Tucson.  The shooter, a 22 year  is now in custody and being held for questioning and trial.  In addition to Mrs. Giffords, 17 others were hurt in the shooting.  Six have died including a federal judge and a nine-year old girl.

Our thoughts and prayers go out to the victims of the tragedy.  We don’t expect this sort of thing to happen in America.  It’s horrific, it’s senseless, and most of all, uncivilized.

It was, sadly, also completely predictable.  You see, for the past two years, the rhetoric from the right has been all about violence, hate and bigotry.  All too often, people seeking public office have deliberately used language designed to appeal to the irrational and the violent.  Don’t believe me?  Let me provide a few examples:

Here’s former senate candidate Sharron Angle blithely talking about “Second Amendment Remedies”:

Translation:  “If we don’t get our way, we’ll start shooting people.”

And here’s Allen West, who was recently elected to the House of Representatives, actually exhorting a crowd of lunatic Teabaggers to threaten his opponent:

Wow.  Domestic terrorism as a campaign strategy.  What a guy.

And here’s a timeless classic:  Faux News gasbag and liar Glenn Beck “joking” about poisoning the Speaker of the House:

Because we all know how funny assassination is.

And last, but certainly not least, here’s a timeless classic from none other than former half-term Governor of Alaska Sarah Palin:

Aren’t they cute?  They look just like little gunsights!  And three of them are in Arizona!  I’m sure nothing bad will come of this…

Ever since the shootings, the lunatic fringe right wing has been falling all over itself to distance itself from the event.  Of course it’s not their fault, they can’t be responsible for the actions of a crazed lunatic, and besides, the kid read the Communist Manifesto, so doesn’t that make him a … liberal?

No.  He also quoted Ayn Rand and may have had ties to a right-wing hate group called American Renaissance.  And, he rambled on about declining currency and the gold standard, two obsessions shared by Rand and Glenn Beck.

Besides, if he was a leftist, why did he go after a Democrat?

No, at the end of the day, the Tea Party owns this tragedy.  It was their rhetoric that set the stage for it, it was the irresponsible behavior and speech of Beck, Palin, West and Angle that give lunatics the idea that killing opponents is acceptable.  They made this shit sandwich, and it’s our job to make sure they eat it and the stench clings to them.

Keep them in your cross-hairs.  I’m sure they’ll appreciate the irony of that imagery.

Of course, I don’t mean it that way…

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It must be hard being Shepard Smith these days.  He seems to be the only reasonable one left at Faux News.  Yesterday he called out the deranged meth-addict fringe of the right wing in this country, reading what was probably one of the less psychotic e-mail rantings he received that day:

I wonder, though, if he’ll have the courage to call out his Faux News colleagues for fanning the flames of this hatred and fear?  Somehow, I doubt it.  The economy is still in the shitter and I’ll bet it’s hard for former Faux News anchors to find jobs these days.  Being associated with that network kind of kills your credibility with legitimate news networks.

But still, it’s nice to see that the Kingdom of the Blind has at least one man who can see the truth.

Hey, kids!  Let’s have some fun with right-wing jackass and Faux Noise stuffed suit Sean Hannity!  It’s been nearly two months since he said he’d volunteer to be waterboarded “for charity”.  He still hasn’t done it, despite the fact that his colleague and friend Erich “Mancow” Muller did, and decided from his experience that it is, in fact, torture.

I’m not entirely sure why Hannity hasn’t done it yet, but I have a theory.  You see, like every other right-wing asshat who defends the so-called “enhanced interrogation methods” employed by Dick “Torquemada” Cheney, Hannity is a pussy.

He’s a yellow-bellied, lily-livered, asslicking, lying buffoon.

And next week will be the two-month anniversary of his pussyhood.  Let’s all have some fun and send him a pussy to help him celebrate it!  Here’s a picture of a nice, wet one that I’m sure he’ll appreciate:

Wet Pussy

See, it’s even got a yellow background, just like Sean himself!  Just download it, copy it, or whatever, and send it with your comments to hannity@foxnews.com.  Or send one of your own pictures if you prefer.  Please, no pornography though, tempting as it may be.  I don’t want to give him any more talking points.  Keep it humourous.

Jesse “The Body” Ventura brings the pain to Sean “The Pussy” Hannity, on Hannity’s own show:

It’s a beautiful thing.  I was waiting for Jesse to ask when Hannity is planning on living up to his offer to be waterboarded for charity, but no such luck.

Here’s Shepard Smith, explaining clearly and succinctly, what the waterboarding debate is all about:

I couldn’t agree more.

Right-Wing bloviator and subhuman waste of flesh Sean Hannity must be regretting last week’s moment of stupidity.  You’ll recall (hell, it’s only two posts ago) that Mr. Hannity offered to allow himself to be waterboarded “for the troops’ families”.  Well, that night Keith Olbermann called his bluff publicly, offering $1000 per second, if he actually goes through with it.  Last night Olbermann found a volunteer to actually do it…

But we all know Hannity won’t do it.  He’s a coward and a clueless chickenhawk.

They’re mad as hell, and they’re not going to take it any more!

Teabaggers on parade

Teabaggers on parade

The right wing is tired of getting the shaft from Uncle Sam and is finally rising up.  They’re gonna stick it to the man!  On April 15, hard-core right wingers across the country will take the situation in hand and spread their (ahem) message far and wide.  It’ll be an orgy of revolt!  Or at least, a revolting orgy.

At gatherings across the nation they’re letting it all hang out…

As nutty as this idea is, I have to admit it’s going to take some real balls to pull it off.  They’re really taking this situation in hand.  I didn’t think the far right still had the stones to circle their wagons like this.  They could be just jerking our chains, but I think any ejaculations about their failure to perform may be premature.  You see, men like Sean Hannity, Glenn Beck, Neil Cavuto, and Greta Van Susteren are all planning on attending these group gropes, and are scheduled to broadcast live from tea parties from cities across the country on Tax Day.

So as long as there aren’t any cock-ups, this thing could really be in the bag.